my new year's resolutions
these posts are all amplifications (amplify is another word related to abilify) of the first post of the day...
anyway i will keep spelling abilify my way, woops that is the correct spelling, how grandiose of me.
i forgot to confess that i remember seeing a silly commercial about bipolar disorder with a long haired woman walking on the beach that i think was an abilify commercial. i remember liking her long curly hair and she reminded me of a few people i knew as acquaintances, the kind of women i think of in this idealized way: earthy, smart, down to earth, healthy etc. funny that they put that type in the role of manic depressive.
here are my revised new year's resolutions:
three words first:
balance, compassion, abundance
those might be enough and these ones to follow probably are too self critical:
i tried to imagine that this year i will be careful with the words that come out of my mouth (including words i write like in here of course) with the intention of being more present, relating to others better, and not talking too much or getting into my manic talking that happens when i'm not manic but anxious and uncomfortable actually. it also was primarily meant to help me with all my relationships but especially my family, even with elvis. i really believe that words/speech is action and right action is hard to get to or at least well intentioned compassionate action. a friend once told me " there are no bad thoughts, only bad actions". it was one of the most helpful ideas esp. for mixed episodes when i have terrible thoughts in my head, i mean stuff i would not even talk about in this blog...
so more careful words in speech, but allowing myself any thoughts i want or have or cannot control with less judgment of my thoughts and more focus on working on my speech. i often talk like i'm thinking out loud or say things i do not mean. at same time i stay quite private. it's all a way (manic defense the shrinks call it) to keep people a safe distance from me...
next one is not self critical, what i'm working on in therapy, summed up in two words: self acceptance
anyway i will keep spelling abilify my way, woops that is the correct spelling, how grandiose of me.
i forgot to confess that i remember seeing a silly commercial about bipolar disorder with a long haired woman walking on the beach that i think was an abilify commercial. i remember liking her long curly hair and she reminded me of a few people i knew as acquaintances, the kind of women i think of in this idealized way: earthy, smart, down to earth, healthy etc. funny that they put that type in the role of manic depressive.
here are my revised new year's resolutions:
three words first:
balance, compassion, abundance
those might be enough and these ones to follow probably are too self critical:
i tried to imagine that this year i will be careful with the words that come out of my mouth (including words i write like in here of course) with the intention of being more present, relating to others better, and not talking too much or getting into my manic talking that happens when i'm not manic but anxious and uncomfortable actually. it also was primarily meant to help me with all my relationships but especially my family, even with elvis. i really believe that words/speech is action and right action is hard to get to or at least well intentioned compassionate action. a friend once told me " there are no bad thoughts, only bad actions". it was one of the most helpful ideas esp. for mixed episodes when i have terrible thoughts in my head, i mean stuff i would not even talk about in this blog...
so more careful words in speech, but allowing myself any thoughts i want or have or cannot control with less judgment of my thoughts and more focus on working on my speech. i often talk like i'm thinking out loud or say things i do not mean. at same time i stay quite private. it's all a way (manic defense the shrinks call it) to keep people a safe distance from me...
next one is not self critical, what i'm working on in therapy, summed up in two words: self acceptance
posted by marlena rivers at
5:54 AM
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