Monday, October 06, 2008

a woman's right to "choose"

i was reading one of my favorite blogs and was inspired to post on this subject. she was reporting on someone's judgment of her choice of job that she is working at while taking care of her young baby.

when i was pregnant and chose to have a c-section, i was struck by people's judgments. one of my friends who had two babies with epidural was supportive and talking about how it's great women now have choices about the birth of their child. but there are plenty of people out their who have their judgments about what kind of mother you are if you choose to have a c section. first we are judged on whether we choose to continue a preganancy or not. then we are judged on how we choose to have the child if we do choose to continue with the pregnancy. we are judged if we gain too much or too little weight while being pregnant. only a pregnant woman walks through new york city and has her privacy invaded by strangers asking questions. every one else here is accorded their anonymity and privacy.

then after we have the baby, there is all the judgments about breastfeeding and choosing it or not. i could go on about this. but you only have to google breastfeeding to see all the dif. judgments and choices out there. and it does not end there. people judge whether it is good or bad for you to go back to work immediately, wait a long time, work part time or full time,etc.etc.etc. including where you are working and who is taking care of the baby. just look at all the judgments people had about sara palin and her work schedule. i don't support her political views (and here is a woman who is being judged for her choices, who makes women and girls in her state pay for rape kits, and who does not support women's right to choose.)

it does not end there. just look at the kind of reporting there is on tv on mother's day. wow, does the US have an idealization and devaluation of motherhood going on.

end of rant. just to update people on my bipolar stuff. i have been taking extra seroquel for a few weeks now after a few scares when i thought an episode was beginning. i was worried i'd have to get back on depakote, but for now, it seems i can just up the seroquel...it's almost halloween, the anniversary of my psychotic episode of last year and i think that's been a big trigger.

baby has woken up.

3 Comments:

Blogger Mo said...

Yes it's surprising how total strangers will come up and ask a mother personal questions.

I saw a comedian called Ardal O'Hanlon recently who was commenting on that most frequent of question... "How heavy was the baby?". Folks always ask that. Why do people always want to know the weight? What could they do if it was too light or too heavy?

Ardal then mused how weird it would be if this applied to all life events... "Oh I'm sorry to hear your father died... how heavy was the corpse?"


Hope your enjoying motherhood whatever your choices are.

3:41 AM  
Blogger Jon said...

I'm all in favor of a woman's right to choose. I think we as human's are really curious about alot of things and that's why we ask questions, even when it's none of our business. I can't stand when people tell me that I should stop taking my meds because the drug companies want to get richer. What do they really know?

My seroquel was just increased to 400mg. I was initially taking this for sleep, but now it's for anxiety and pschosis. I hope you get some relief with your new dosage.
-Jon

9:38 AM  
Blogger marlena rivers said...

thanks for the comments. wow 400 is a lot. i actually went down to about 175-200 from 250 as i was feeling less unstable and using more klonopin anyway

9:17 PM  

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