bad mom story
i'll keep it short. at one of the rest stops on our trip as usual denzel went to the restroom and i was with dog and baby. he gave me the keys to the car. baby was asleep in car seat. there was a sign pointing to where to bring dogs. for some stupid reason i did something really dumb. i locked the car with baby in it sleeping and walked over with doggie to let him pee in the grass. i was not in eye shot of the car but it was only a few minutes while denzel was in the bathroom. dont ask why i did not think about how stupid it was to leave the baby. but keep in mind that i am not a car person. i dont even have a license and hardly ever go places in cars.
anyway denzel came out and was furious at me for leaving the baby even a few minutes and mentioned that i could have gotten in serious trouble with the authorities. i thought he was exagerating though i of course agreed that it was terrible judgment to do what i did even though the baby was still asleep and fine. i kind of avoided the topic the rest of the ride as i didnt want to get in a fight and he was really upset and even said it scared him.
anyway later i looked on the internet and saw that a mother got arrested for leaving her baby in her car for a few minutes. that made me feel even worse.
what's wrong with me? and does society not give anyone a chance to make a little mistake? it's not the same thing as leaving a baby in a car for hours while shopping or soemthing like that. anyway i feel branded as a bad mom. in addition denzel thought i was choosing dog over baby. i didnt see it that way. idont know why it happened as there were so many times when he left me with both dog and baby and i stuck right near the car and was talking to the baby with the dog out of the car and her in it with the door open and me monitoring her. was it the sign that pointed further away for bringing pets to do their stuff that misled me? or that denzel gave me the car keys.
anyway has anyone out there ever done something stupid like that? and hwat would they do if they had arrested me? would they take the baby from me?
should i just feel like i made a mistake after being in a car all day and not having enough sleep and being at the end of a long trip visiting three different places? or should i feel like a horrible lousy abandoning mother?
am i the kidn of person who should not be allowed to have kids?? i dont want another one as i think one is hard enough to take care of while dealing wiht bipolar and owning an old dog i am overly attached to.
please help me sort this out and forgive myself. i really love our baby and spend more time with her than any other being, even elvis...
anyway denzel came out and was furious at me for leaving the baby even a few minutes and mentioned that i could have gotten in serious trouble with the authorities. i thought he was exagerating though i of course agreed that it was terrible judgment to do what i did even though the baby was still asleep and fine. i kind of avoided the topic the rest of the ride as i didnt want to get in a fight and he was really upset and even said it scared him.
anyway later i looked on the internet and saw that a mother got arrested for leaving her baby in her car for a few minutes. that made me feel even worse.
what's wrong with me? and does society not give anyone a chance to make a little mistake? it's not the same thing as leaving a baby in a car for hours while shopping or soemthing like that. anyway i feel branded as a bad mom. in addition denzel thought i was choosing dog over baby. i didnt see it that way. idont know why it happened as there were so many times when he left me with both dog and baby and i stuck right near the car and was talking to the baby with the dog out of the car and her in it with the door open and me monitoring her. was it the sign that pointed further away for bringing pets to do their stuff that misled me? or that denzel gave me the car keys.
anyway has anyone out there ever done something stupid like that? and hwat would they do if they had arrested me? would they take the baby from me?
should i just feel like i made a mistake after being in a car all day and not having enough sleep and being at the end of a long trip visiting three different places? or should i feel like a horrible lousy abandoning mother?
am i the kidn of person who should not be allowed to have kids?? i dont want another one as i think one is hard enough to take care of while dealing wiht bipolar and owning an old dog i am overly attached to.
please help me sort this out and forgive myself. i really love our baby and spend more time with her than any other being, even elvis...
posted by marlena rivers at
10:02 PM
6 Comments:
You will make many mistakes as a mother. You might want to remind your husband that he will too! Maybe not today, but raising a child is a very long process.
I read the story about the Mother who locked her baby in the car to walk a short distance to give money to the salvation army. What happened afterwards was ridiculous and if I remember right the charges were dropped. Why? Because it was ridiculous.
My guess is if you felt bad enough to write this. You are a very caring mother. Hang in there!
Yes, you will not do it again now that you know, it is a small mistake and no harm done...
Hey, I'll call this weekend to say hi, sorry I've been so out of touch...
I work for a company that, among other things, provides roadside assistance. Parents lock their kids in all the time. It happens.
Charging parents for honest mistakes is just wrong. Mistakes are mistakes and they're easy to obsess over but no harm, no foul.
I make bad decisions every day. It's not only part of motherhood, but it's part of life. You are not a bad person or a bad mother. You are merely human. No harm was done, and honestly I can't say that much harm could have come from this decision, in reality. The only bad thing is that you are now beating yourself up over it. Deep breaths and give yourself a break, my friend.
One of the biggest lessons I have learned is that there is nothing more humbling than motherhood. Mistakes are inevitable. I locked my son in the car before. I have also forgotten to strap him into his carseat a few times and also watched him fall on his head while climbing out of his crib. Somehow he is still alive and 3 years old. :)
we all screw up at some point. Parenting doesnt come with a book. And I don't think you chose dog over baby.. I think that it just happened.. Don't beat yourself up. You won't make that mistake again. You'll remember this and you wont do it again.
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