head still in the trash...
my head is still in the trash, metaphorically speaking.
i was going to do a comic strip today. i had some ideas and denzel even had a funny idea based on a self-deprecating remark i made about how i'd even lose if i was a contestant in the depression olympics.
i managed to make it to yoga class but then spent the day napping on the couch.
then later tonight could not get to sleep of course, so now it's even later than last time i posted. it's 2:45 in the morning.
meanwhile the more often i post the less i feel like people read my blog. thanks to the few who do comment, i really do appreciate your support. i feel like ever since i've been pregnant and depressed and whiny, the men who used to visit and make comments have gotten sick of or bored with my blog. so i'm also trashing myself for not being popular and not doing a good enough blog...
i should just do a comic strip now but i have no creative energy.
just getting through each day, doing as little as possible as things i need to be doing pile up and everything gets messier and messier and more and more disorganized.
but i'm just trying to follow my psychiatrist's backup's advice to take it easy on myself and lower my stress. seems to involve doing very little whatsoever. i guess elvis is lucky he's getting his walks and my teeth are lucky i'm still brushing them.
i was going to do a comic strip today. i had some ideas and denzel even had a funny idea based on a self-deprecating remark i made about how i'd even lose if i was a contestant in the depression olympics.
i managed to make it to yoga class but then spent the day napping on the couch.
then later tonight could not get to sleep of course, so now it's even later than last time i posted. it's 2:45 in the morning.
meanwhile the more often i post the less i feel like people read my blog. thanks to the few who do comment, i really do appreciate your support. i feel like ever since i've been pregnant and depressed and whiny, the men who used to visit and make comments have gotten sick of or bored with my blog. so i'm also trashing myself for not being popular and not doing a good enough blog...
i should just do a comic strip now but i have no creative energy.
just getting through each day, doing as little as possible as things i need to be doing pile up and everything gets messier and messier and more and more disorganized.
but i'm just trying to follow my psychiatrist's backup's advice to take it easy on myself and lower my stress. seems to involve doing very little whatsoever. i guess elvis is lucky he's getting his walks and my teeth are lucky i'm still brushing them.
Labels: anxiety, blogging, creative block, depression, self hatred
posted by marlena rivers at
11:44 PM
12 Comments:
I find the same thing regarding posting more frequently. But I think what it comes down to is basic math. There is a rate at which people check blogs, and it is constant. So even if you increase your posts you won't necessarily get more comments. But if you can, try to let go of the comment counting. See your blog as a way for you to express yourself, for yourself. OK? We all love you out here.
Don't feel too bad about your post. I read a lot of your post though I don't comment I just figure I don't have anything constructive to say.. ;) You're not being ignored.
You're fine though and yeah I go through the same feelings and what's bad about mine is I post a entry every day so I don't know if mine would be different if I changed or not.
I get hardly any comments but that's not why I started mine. I started mine so that others might find something that they can get from it and to keep track of things for myself and I have to remember that.
you two are both right, ben and nicole. i just get caught up in wanting attention and wanting to feel like people like my blog. lately i will use anything to get down on myself and my motives are not completely selfless. some of my blogging is for wanting attention, wanting to feel like my blog is fascinating and my comic strips are good, wanting validation and admiration. i understand that marilyn monroe song, "i wanna be loved by you" that many interpreted as being more about her wanting to be loved by millions of stranges. it's a low motive but human, i guess. of course i also blog for the more noble reasons you both mention. but i admit to having many low motives as well...
I agree with Nicole...its not about More post = More Comments, but I feel that as long as you are consistent with your blog then that is all that matters:)
Consistency can mean 2 a month, 1 a month, 5 times a month and so on..people will see eventually know your routine and schedule:)
As far as the C-Sections....My First one was an Emergency C-Section in 1985...then I had 3 more because they cut down instead of low and across near my you know what area:)
Every doctor and procedure is different...The 1st they knocked me out cold! Then the other 3 was a Planned C-Section and I had an Epidural and it numb my body from my waist down..
When they made the Incision...I didn't feel a thing..Nothing, Nada!! It was amazing...I was awake and experienced the birth the same way as Natural Child Birth, but NO PAIN!!!!
After the baby was born and several hours later, the numbness wore off and yeah, it hurts but not that bad...My family and friends were cruel (SMILE)...they would try and make me laugh and when you sneeze it hurts, but they give you as much pain killers as you want!!!!
You cannot stand completely straight for two weeks...but it really isn't all that bad...After so many, I got used to it :)
I would do it again and again and again...everyone has their own way and opinions...no different than breast or bottle:)
Hope that helps!
just hang in there, m'dear! all will be better in a little while. it is very important to be easy on ourselves when we're in these bad states--really just making it through the day and doing a couple productive things like dog-walking and yoga and making yourself stop if you find yourself in a hours-long fit of self-criticism is a good achievement!
If you walk your dog every day despite having a mood disorder, you qualify as a wonderful person! In my book at least. And I do read your blog a lot, but don't always know what to say, so I don't always comment.
thanks for the comments, jenny and emilija. walking the dog is just non negotiable. i think dogs are the best form of medication around!
Hi Marlena, I think you'd be surprised how many people read blogs but don't comment. Maybe you could sign up with something like My Blog Log? That way you can keep track of how many readers you're getting each day.
I don't think you will lose readers by writing less comic strips and deeper posts; I think you will just attract different readers.
I hope today is a better day for you.
I hear you. I miss having creative energy. What little I do have's been trashed the past 2 weeks or so...Maybe a funny book?
I don't always comment (I tend to be comment-shy, in fact) but I am most certainly a reader.
Hey girlie...just because someone doesn't comment doesn't mean people aren't reading your blog. I "lurk" a lot of the time. :-) That was actually funny - losing at the depression Olympics! I'm so excited for you - being pregnant and your upcoming bundle of joy!
You'll be back on your meds before you know it. Remember, this is only temporary!
Thinking of you and wishing warm thoughts...
Do what feels good and don't worry about how others react.
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