late night post...
it's actually sat. early almost 1am my time... happy st. patty's day. actually i'm not too psyched about this holiday. love the irish but i live on a block with an irish bar that gets annoyingly rowdy, spilling onto the sidewalk, on regular weekends. it's not fun going out there to walk elvis and having to deal with rude underage drinkers. so st. patrick's day is extra awful adn there will be vomit on the sidewalk to avoid especially while walking the doggie...
i decided to alternate comic strip posts with writing posts and hope to post about twice a week as i need the extra support. it's been a very tough week, dealing with moodswings, no meds and additional stress of pregnancy emotions and whatever hormones are running around in me.
my head is back on, did not end up in the trash!
i went to see my psychiatrist's backup. he's on vacation. she was great, very supportive and nice, spent an hour wtih me on wed. and gave me her cell number in case of emergency. we talked about possibilities of taking medications but none of those options were too great and i was managing to cope better by then with the depression and extreme anxiety and fear of losing it/falling apart/getting into a mixed state.
basically prozac is safest but could cause mania. then i'd have to take haldol which gives awful side effects and makes it impossible to function. (i took it for two days this summer and had to stop...) and i can't take cogentin or the other meds to get rid of those side effects...
so it seemed best to follow her other recommendations to replace medication. such as going to therapy again, which i was already considering, lowering my stress and avoiding watching emotionally difficult movies and shows, avoiding stressful conversations and allowing myself to relax, not trying to accomplish too much, being nicer to myself, going to yoga, etc...
so i'm returning a few netflix dvds that seem like they'd be disturbing. started therapy with a new person yesterday. (probably will put something in the comic strip about that.) he seems very nice and comforting, just what i need right now... and i've been allowing myself to be lazy, sleep late, take extra naps etc.
elvis is always a good relaxing being to hang out with and certainly the least likely to get me into any kidn of stressful conversation!
and denzel has been super extra sweet. brought me two bouquets of flowers, calling to check in during the day, sitting with me at night, offering to get me a prenatal massage, buying special juice and foods that i like etc...
the worst of it is over. just need to chill out and recognize that being pregnant on no meds is no picnic...
to end on a good note: great pregnant find, my new favorite juice: all natural cranberry and pomegranite, organic, yum!
i decided to alternate comic strip posts with writing posts and hope to post about twice a week as i need the extra support. it's been a very tough week, dealing with moodswings, no meds and additional stress of pregnancy emotions and whatever hormones are running around in me.
my head is back on, did not end up in the trash!
i went to see my psychiatrist's backup. he's on vacation. she was great, very supportive and nice, spent an hour wtih me on wed. and gave me her cell number in case of emergency. we talked about possibilities of taking medications but none of those options were too great and i was managing to cope better by then with the depression and extreme anxiety and fear of losing it/falling apart/getting into a mixed state.
basically prozac is safest but could cause mania. then i'd have to take haldol which gives awful side effects and makes it impossible to function. (i took it for two days this summer and had to stop...) and i can't take cogentin or the other meds to get rid of those side effects...
so it seemed best to follow her other recommendations to replace medication. such as going to therapy again, which i was already considering, lowering my stress and avoiding watching emotionally difficult movies and shows, avoiding stressful conversations and allowing myself to relax, not trying to accomplish too much, being nicer to myself, going to yoga, etc...
so i'm returning a few netflix dvds that seem like they'd be disturbing. started therapy with a new person yesterday. (probably will put something in the comic strip about that.) he seems very nice and comforting, just what i need right now... and i've been allowing myself to be lazy, sleep late, take extra naps etc.
elvis is always a good relaxing being to hang out with and certainly the least likely to get me into any kidn of stressful conversation!
and denzel has been super extra sweet. brought me two bouquets of flowers, calling to check in during the day, sitting with me at night, offering to get me a prenatal massage, buying special juice and foods that i like etc...
the worst of it is over. just need to chill out and recognize that being pregnant on no meds is no picnic...
to end on a good note: great pregnant find, my new favorite juice: all natural cranberry and pomegranite, organic, yum!
Labels: craving, depression, doggie, medication, pregnant
posted by marlena rivers at
9:42 PM
3 Comments:
Ah yes, the no meds while pregnant dilemma. So scary sometimes. It always leaves me wondering whether my emotions are pregnancy or bipolar based. I never can tell.
I'm glad you are being good to yourself. I remember my pregnancy and it was no walk in the park -- and that was before I became depressed. I know you have been having a difficult time of it but you're putting up a good fight. Hope the therapy helps you out some too.
I've never been medicated.
Consequently I've gone through some bad-a$$ situations, which would have probably been avoided with proper medication.
Such a high degree of emotional discomfort, without any kind of support whatsoever, can make or break a person.
In order not to break, I had to force myself to become resourceful, and eventually I came up with a variety of coping mechanisms. Granted not all of them are healthy, but they get the job done.
So yes, it' be hard, really hard, but it's possible to do this. And once the baby is here, you'll be so glad you did...
I found out, that it's very important to have someone to talk to whenever you start losing contact with reality, or when you get too depressed, but you seem to have that covered.
I never reached out for support and tried to talk to someone about my numerous fears, and I regret this now.
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