wed. may 7
it's about a week and a few days since my last post. not bad for me, considering my slowdown with blogging.
i wont write long as i need to go to bed. tomorrow morning i have my six months since followup after birth check up at the ob/gyn. the last checkup was at six weeks or so. wow, how different things were. i was proudly off meds and breastfeeding. he gave me a special birth control pill prescription to be used while breastfeeding that i never filled. about two weeks later at end of oct. halloween i was psychotic.
now here it is the baby is 8 months old, i'm long done breastfeeding, taking meds and had another episode last month that lasted on and off throughout april.
this time i'm bringing the baby to the appointment. it will be fun to show him the being that he pulled out of my belly and brought into the world around 8 months ago. i'm not sure how much i want to tell him about the episode as he had recommended while i was pregnant that i go right back on meds after the birth and skip breastfeeding altogether.
and i'm taking this birth control pill that is ok but hard to tell when i get my period. i just dont want him to put me on a different one, as i've only been on this one for two months and hate changing meds in general.
i read the other day that seroquel is now being used as a stand alone med for bipolar, which is reassuring as i used to take depakote and did not go back on it and did not want to go back on it. i much prefer just taking seroquel and wellbutrin and some klonopin. it's also nice to take one less medication adn i think the depakote made me lethargic, sleep a lot, tired, and took away my sex drive. plus i find it creeps me out to be on it for the rest of my life. i now realize most likely i'll be on the other meds most of my life, but at least now there is even more reason to keep taking them, to make sure i can take better care of my daughter and spare her as much as possilbe the bad sides of the illness...
more anticipatory anxiety, this time about taking the dog and the baby upstate on a trip to see denzel's family. i worry about the car trip with elvis. i dont want to keep him in a crate during the car ride as he hates it. i'm afraid it will exacerbate his stress, his arthritis and his back problems...
i wont write long as i need to go to bed. tomorrow morning i have my six months since followup after birth check up at the ob/gyn. the last checkup was at six weeks or so. wow, how different things were. i was proudly off meds and breastfeeding. he gave me a special birth control pill prescription to be used while breastfeeding that i never filled. about two weeks later at end of oct. halloween i was psychotic.
now here it is the baby is 8 months old, i'm long done breastfeeding, taking meds and had another episode last month that lasted on and off throughout april.
this time i'm bringing the baby to the appointment. it will be fun to show him the being that he pulled out of my belly and brought into the world around 8 months ago. i'm not sure how much i want to tell him about the episode as he had recommended while i was pregnant that i go right back on meds after the birth and skip breastfeeding altogether.
and i'm taking this birth control pill that is ok but hard to tell when i get my period. i just dont want him to put me on a different one, as i've only been on this one for two months and hate changing meds in general.
i read the other day that seroquel is now being used as a stand alone med for bipolar, which is reassuring as i used to take depakote and did not go back on it and did not want to go back on it. i much prefer just taking seroquel and wellbutrin and some klonopin. it's also nice to take one less medication adn i think the depakote made me lethargic, sleep a lot, tired, and took away my sex drive. plus i find it creeps me out to be on it for the rest of my life. i now realize most likely i'll be on the other meds most of my life, but at least now there is even more reason to keep taking them, to make sure i can take better care of my daughter and spare her as much as possilbe the bad sides of the illness...
more anticipatory anxiety, this time about taking the dog and the baby upstate on a trip to see denzel's family. i worry about the car trip with elvis. i dont want to keep him in a crate during the car ride as he hates it. i'm afraid it will exacerbate his stress, his arthritis and his back problems...
posted by marlena rivers at
8:18 PM
3 Comments:
You sound so much better Marlena. I hope once the car ride is over you enjoy your time upstate.
thanks for the post. i like the way you are able to put into words many of the experiences, feelings and emotions. from reading your post, i realize i haven't touched the discussion about my feelings to my dr. i didn't read if you are involved with NAMI or not, but if you aren't they can be helpful...
hang in there
peace
Just checking in on you and so glad to see you doing so well.
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